Enthusiasm (or lack thereof)

Evelyn: I am in the process of a whole new set of adjustments, between the relative unbalance that makes one of my shoulders higher than the other, and has thrown off my hip the last 6 weeks, to the internal adjustments of relating to a significant connection in a new way. Lately I have felt tired, tired of worrying and the uncertainty of work and finances and health. Maybe today I have simply lost my enthusiasm (I think I may have slept on it funny last night, and it just needs to be shaken out from the sheets). Dragging myself out for some images, my neck complaining from the chiropractor's gentle touch, I observed that the lake is dried out enough that what once existed below the water is exposed and drying on the shoreline. The bleached white of a large turtle shell caught my focus, and when flipped I found the spinal column, rickety and dirty, but intact. It seemed appropriate, looked familiar actually, each vertebrae in its place. I thought of my x-rays, and how I so deeply want to be aligned: with myself, with my values, with my career, with my finances, with the people I love, with my life... and that is a process of gentle adjustments, a few deep stretches, and the support of the amazing people whose arms keep me steady when I am unsure.

Monica: Writing can be excruciating for me. I remember a time when words flowed unhindered from my pen. Sometime between then and now, I lost my fire for writing. I'm not sure what exactly happened. There I was, writing nearly every day,  excited about how I was going to spin the raw material of my life into a rich thread of words. Then something shifted in the world and in myself, and my attitude changed. I felt I had nothing to say anymore. My enthusiasm turned to apathy. And yet, I've continued to harbor the wistful vision that someday I will be a writer again. My family and friends encourage me and Evelyn gently reminds me that my words will be missed if I don't write them. So I force myself to put one word down after another, in the hopes that someday I will see the path clearly to the stories I need to tell.